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Hockey Hands – ARC Charity Event

Hockey Hands – ARC Charity Event

On August 27th, Hockey Hands is hosting a charity concert at The Pearl Theatre. Come out to support us with the help of some of the brightest artists from Shanghai’s folk music scene. This is our last charity initiative until we start our SHC Hockey Hands program in the fall. At the event, ¥20 from all Mojito’s and 15% of all F&B sales go directly to our charities! Tickets are ¥100 and available from different ticket sellers and online at: https://www.tryclearcut.com/event/i67iJy5w

We are looking for sponsors and raffle prizes for this event to help raise money to help initiate our program. Please contact Jake and Cole for tickets or how to get involved @jakeyboy88 @ kohlbrownbear.

Line-up:
5:00 – Casey Westergaard
6:00 – Michael Schell
7:00 – Tribes Of Asaph
8:00 – One Hitter
9:00 – Evil Twin
10:00 – 双high
11:00 Grindhouse

Posted by aaron
***IMPORTANT SHINNY ANNOUNCEMENT***

***IMPORTANT SHINNY ANNOUNCEMENT***

Hey there, Puckheads!

Due to low attendance during the summer months we are suspending TUESDAY SHINNIES until further notice. In the interim, we will run Monday night’s 8:15 “fast n’ loose puck” and Thursday night’s 9:30 “filthy mongrel puck.”

Regardless of which ice you prefer (Mondays for the competitive asshats, Thursdays for people having a good time and learning some fundamentals) you must confirm your attendance with either of the following individuals via wechat:

If you’re interested in Monday ice, contact Hans Von Jovi (Wechat ID: hansvonmeister)

If you’re interested in Thursday ice, contact Kevin Marteeny Weeny (Wechat ID: kev_in_sha)

These gentlemen take care of the attendance numbers and keep our communications with the rink smooth. So please let either of them know directly if you wish to attend.

That’s all for now. Stay safe and keep your stick on the ice!

Posted by aaron in Announcement
SHC Exec Committee Elected – Immediately Regrets Life Decisions

SHC Exec Committee Elected – Immediately Regrets Life Decisions

Good news, puck heads! The votes are in and your new exec team has finally emerged from the dark crevices of Shanghai’s festering butthole. The sorry lot met up at The Camel Bar™ recently to discuss some ‘squad goals’ for next year. Though there were many high-priority items on the agenda, the majority of the time was spent arguing over what their respective nicknames were going to be. Just to keep you in the loop, and so that you can keep your kids 100 ft. away from these monsters at all times, here are some profiles for you to peruse:

Goalie Rep/Youth Wrestling Enthusiast: Barry “The Body” Roe – As we all know, getting a goalie on the exec committee was pretty important – more important than waiting for a criminal background check, apparently. If you ever need to find Barry, just go to your nearest dive bar and scan the shadows until you find a pair of beady eyes looking back at you from the darkness. Toss a piece of old durian at his feet and wait for him to eat it off the floor like an animal before approaching – dude’s a walking episode of the X-files.

Social/Events: Cole “Zangief” Paterson – A continual front-runner for the “Beer League Bruiser™” award, Coley bullied his way onto the exec committee by simply staring down the rest of the team until they gave him a spot at the table, and then their wallets. Though sometimes mistaken for a Sons of Anarchy cosplayer, don’t be fooled. Pitter-Paterson takes his caramel mocha lattes the same way he wears his jeans – skinny, effeminate, and stiffened with Cialis.

Resident Grouch: Kevin “Yes, that’s my real last name” Martini – Speaking of Cialis, this guy’s bloodstream is so saturated with male enhancement ‘medication’ that just being near him gets you off through osmosis – it’s like walking through a musty cloud of axe body spray that actually works. If you ever need to find him, you can always tell if he’s nearby by observing the male animal behaviour within a 3-mile radius. Conversely, you could just look for the nearest ginger.

Finance: James “T. Kirk/Jim/Bones” Scotti – It’s not normal that you get a guy in a leadership position that looks like the entire cast of the original Star Trek series rolled into one, but lo and behold, we got him. Charismatic, charming, and eager to use his physicality to deal with any situation, Scotti more or less showed up at the first meeting wearing nothing but his padded biking shorts and a Livestrong bracelet™. Yet, when he passionately took our finances into his burly arms, and boldly looked into the camera for his close-up, everyone swooned.

Referee Rep/Possible Highlander: Jean Pierre “It’s pronounced ‘Poo-TIN’, not ‘TEEN’” Grimard – The legend of J.P. is well known around the league. Nobody really knows how old he is, and some say that he’s been bouncing around beer leagues in major cities for the past 50 years in an attempt to conceal his immortal nature. His freakish athleticism is often said to be the result of the powers he gains whenever he cuts the head off of another beer league-lander. When asked about the recent disappearance of another suspected beer league-lander, Brian Wallace, he simply responded by saying “there can be only one” before shredding a mad-wicked air guitar solo.

Tech Guru/Human Air Horn/Marketing: Matt “I might not be attractive enough to steal your wife, but I sure can hack your wechat wallet!” Whately – Waitzy’s effort behind the scenes gives this league the thin veneer it needs in order to appear to be a reputable organization – much like his clothing provides him with the thin layer of camouflage he needs to blend into normal human civilization.

Communications: Shane “Just let me see it” Anderson – The last member on what reasonably ought to be a community watch-list, Anderson usually spends most of his time hanging out in the locker rooms, collecting ‘unpaid league fees’ from players’ wallets while they’re on the ice. He also takes it upon himself to collect ‘unclaimed’ rolls of shin pad tape, other team’s beers, and ‘expensive but lonely’ hockey sticks.

See you at the Draft Party!

Posted by aaron in Announcement, Article

SHC Golfin’ Derb

SHC’s Famous Summer Golf Tournament is Here!

This summer, June 18th, the SHC is having its annual golf tournament in Shanghai. If you like playing golf, drinking, and solid after-parties, then this is the event for you. We’re going to start at Camel for some breakfast, drinks, and maybe a couple of dirty stories from the vets, who knows. Then we roll out to the links for 18 holes of debauchery. After the tournament has ended, we head back to Camel for the after-party, where you can mock, praise, and talk to your fellow golfers.

Show up, hungry and thirsty at: The Camel
Time: 9:00am
Price: 1200 RMB

Be aware of the fact that this is an all day event, ending with an after-party at Camel.

Note: If you don’t have golf clubs, don’t worry, you can always rent them at the club.

Join the Official Group Chat Below:

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Posted by aaron in Announcement

SHC EXEC ELECTIONS OPEN

To All Members,

The SHC is now accepting nominations for those wishing to join the SHC Executive Board for the 2016-2017 Season. If you, or someone you know, would like to run for a position on the Exec, please inform Matt Whately by Sunday, June 5, at 12pm.

The Exec consists of 7 members. There are 6 available positions.

Between June 5th and the year end party on Friday, June 17, all members may cast their votes for the nominees on shanghaihockey.com

On June 17th, we will announce the new SHC Exec.

Cheers,
SHC Exec

致所有的俱乐部成员

现上海冰球俱乐部接受2016-2017赛季董事会成员提名,如果你或任何你认识的人想要参与董事会席位竞选,请于6月5日中午12点前联系Matt Whately。

董事会共有7个席位,目前6个席位空缺。

自6月5日至6月17日年终派对这段时间,所有俱乐部成员都可以在网站上投票。 shanghaihockey.com

我们将在6月17日宣布新赛季的董事会成员。

Cheers,
SHC Exec

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Posted by aaron

Hockey Hands & Adoption Resources China – Fundraiser – Saturday, May 28th!

冰球手牵手和ARC: 明天请帮助我们帮助孤儿

Hockey Hands and ARC: tomorrow, please help us help the orphans.

We invite you to join us and support a new charity initiative that includes partners Adoption Resources China (ARC) and SHC Hockey Hands (HH) and is supported by the Rooftop Ruckus and Daga Brewpub.

 

我们邀请你加入我们,参与到这个慈善活动中。活动的发起者是ARC,SHC冰球手牵手(HH),并得到了Rooftop Ruckus和Daga Brewpub的支持。

 

HH supports local orphanages with English exposure, hockey instruction and other activities.  HH aims to give children with a tougher life something positive, like learning about hockey and teamwork while doing something active.

 

HH给本地孤儿院提供英语环境曝光,冰球设施和其他活动等项目的支持。HH致力于给生活遇到困难的孩子们提供积极的元素,让他们在参与积极活动时学会打冰球,学会团队协作等.

 

Adoption Resources China (ARC) is a fresh, new non-profit organization built within the Shanghai community, dedicated to providing resources for expatriate families in China who are interested in adoption. ARC intends to bridge foster and adoptive families with the agencies and processes needed to make life better for abandoned children of China.

Since kicking off in fall 2015, ARC has already supported 11 families and an additional six children are in the process of adoption!  Because ARC has been supporting all of these families free of charge, there is an urgent push to begin raising funds to support the organization.

 

ARC是一个刚在中国上海成立不久的非盈利性组织,致力于为希望在中国领养孩子的外籍家庭提供资源和支持。ARC致力于为有意愿领养的家庭提供代理和咨询,并且,帮助中国的弃儿能获得更好的生活。
自2015年成立以来,ARC已经支持帮助了11个家庭和17名中国儿童。
并且在此过程中,ARC没有收取这些家庭任何费用,因此我们需要尽快为ARC提供资金支持来帮助他们更好地开展这个有意义的工作。

Posted by aaron

Summer League Kicks Off

As you may have guessed from the general lack of updates after Finals Night, the SHC was busy getting just utterly toasted over the last few weeks. The Champion Ice Cocks (B Div) and Bulldogs (A Div) had especially long benders, and we still haven’t heard from Cocks Captain Barry Duke after he was last seen belting out ‘We Are The Champions’ on the roof of the Shanghai Tower. Not to be outdone, Bulldogs Captain Tyler Perro was at a loss when asked where the Shangley Cup was. Vegas odds currently place it at the bottom of the Huangpu River.

Despite all this, the SHC got its collective shit together and is kicking off Summer 2016 this weekend! May is summer, right? Sure. Why not.

This Summer will see 4 teams battle it out for the Shangley Chalice (Mini-Shangley was also in contention for the new Summer Trophy name). The long-standing Mixers are joined by the new franchises the Night Riders, Deadheads, and Bingqiu Bandits in a summer long battle to end the first week of September.

Ready for more? Grab a Tsingtao and get ready. Summer’s here, baby!

Posted by aaron in Announcement, Article

Week 21 Summary – 第二十一周总结

The first of 2 heavyweight semi-final A division battles featured the offensive juggernaut Fog Devils, led by regular season 20 goal scorer Isaac McKitrick and the shutdown defensive Paper Tigers led by their captain J. P. Grimard. Both teams exchanged chances early and often but it was the 17 year old Johnny ‘Eh’ also known as Johnny ‘Eros’ Athanasopoulos (not just for his love of the game) who struck first with an upstairs beauty from the high slot. With the help from 2-way forward Yosef Natour, Johnny A stole the show scoring 2 more goals to complete his 2nd hat-trick of the year. The Fog Devil forwards were anything but fogy throughout the night, with Hugo Thalan, Shinho Kitamura and Zhiqiang Wang having good looks and odd man chances all game long. PT’s goalie Barry ‘Great’ Roe ‘of China’ weathered the storm until 2 seconds after the final horn where Kita scored to break the shutout. Final score, Paper Tigers 3, Fog Devils 1.

A级联赛中第一场重磅级半决赛在常规赛进球20粒的Isaac McKitrick带领的进攻机器Fog Devil队与J.P. Grimard带领的防守城墙Paper Tiger队之间进行。两队很快进入状态,并互有机会,但打破僵局的是17岁的“某”Johnny,他的远射直勾球门右上死角,十分漂亮。之后,在双面前锋Yosef Natour的帮助下,Johnny A 再次技惊四座,用又两记漂亮的进球完成了自己赛季中第二个帽子戏法。但是Fog Devil队的前锋也绝非等闲之辈,Hugo Thalan, Shinho Kitamura 和王志强都有很不错的表现,只是幸运女神自始至终都没有站在“雾魔”的身边。同时,Paper Tiger队的守门员Barry Roe一直到比赛的最后2秒都没有松懈放手,Kita在最后时刻才打进Barry的球门,避免了半决赛被剃光头的尴尬。最终比分,Paper Tigers 3, Fog Devils 1。

In the B semi final match, the red hot ducks coming off an easy win from the no show hairy crabs were in for a tight game. After a scoreless first, APL got nailed for 2 quick penalties which gave the ducks a sweet 5 on 3 power play. After winning the draw clean Ken, played the puck back to Tomy where he unleashed a howizter into the goal net to take a one to nill lead. Apl crawled its way back to tie it up after a face off in the ducks end sent the puck directly to Shama who fought off Simon to tap the puck across the line. Late in the third, lightening quick Bergie snapped up the puck behind the APL keeper for a nice rap around goal, this brought out the furry of the APL bench as they thought it was an offside. Late in the third the refs made it up to APL buy giving LARGE a cheap holding penalty. Ducks fought off the 6 on 4 and went on the win and head again back to the championship final!

于4月9日周六的B组半准决赛事中, 如日中天的DUCKS在当天紧凑的赛事中将多人缺席的大闸蟹队轻易干掉。
然后于4月16日对阵APL的赛事中, 在第一节在还未有得分的情况下, APL被判两次犯规, 这让DUCKS轻易得到5人对3人的优势。首先在抢球时由DUCKS的队长KEN将球后清脆的后传给队友TOMMY, 然后TOMMY将所有力量爆发于一记抽射, 冰球如炮弹般打进龙门, 先声夺人一球领先。在另一次抢球环节中, APL重整旗鼓, 冰球传到SHAMA手上, 他挣脱了SIMON的阻挠, 然后将球打进龙门。
情况相当紧凑,在第三节最后阶段, DUCKS的BERGIE以灵活快速的走位, 正当APL误以球是滑行出界ICING的时候, BERGIE截球成功, 以一记抽射, 将球打到对方龙门, 成功得分。在最后阶段, APL败局而成, DUCKS的LARGE因一次轻微犯规, 让APL以6对4的对决, 但可惜已经没法改变局势, 如日中天的DUCKS成功进入总决赛。

Ice Cocks won with goals by Duke, Spahr, and defenseman Dorris and Corriveau. Puckhounds didnt do anything noteworthy other than lots of puffy shots on Karl the goalie which he handled easily. IC’s are looking forward to playing an impressive Duck team on Saturday.

IceCocks击败PuckHound太监4-0。杜克,斯帕尔,CORRIVEAU和DORRIS打进IC进球。 KARL是完美的目标

Posted by aaron

Week 19 Summary – 第十九周总结

Photo credits/致摄影师: Joseph Hu (Wechat/微信: liebgott1986)

Contact Joseph for high resolution pictures: 1 – 20RMB; 6 -100RMB

可以添加Joseph的微信获得高分辨率的照片: 20元/张,每6张100元

For more pictures, please see the SHC gallery at/如果想看更多的照片看这里:

Gallery

In this week’s matchup against The Broke Penguins… I mean Killer Pandas… The Drunk Vikings went all out the first period, led by Captain, and head Viking, “Sigve Can’t-Stop Klepsvik”. Unfortunately, in a Panda charging incident, the Vikings were penalized for getting attacked and the Killer Pandas went on the powerplay. The refs must have been daydreaming about the delicious Tsingtao beer they would have after the game. After a loud exchange of profanities, Vikings managed to cool down and stay focused, killed the penalty and holding the 0-0 tie until next period. Again the intoxicated Vikings started out strong, skating all over the place, but for some reason couldn’t find the back of the net against The Wall of The Rising Sun, also known as Shin. A big quarrel occurred in front of the KP net, where Darryl “AngryMcMuffinFace” Slaney had a tantrum on a scale that’s never been seen before in SHC. With no score heading into the 3rd period, the refs decided to put their glasses on, and give the “Funk Vikings” a shot at PP. It didn’t take long before Stu “Put-It-In-The-FiveHole” Chan… put it in the five hole for the first goal of the night. Unfortunately, in the dying seconds of the game, KP managed to sneak one past Goalie Grey… Further delaying the refs from drinking their beer. After a dry üvertoime, the game went to a shootout, where Mr. “Shoot-it-Between-the-legs” Chan yet again… Shot it between the legs of the rising sun, winning it for the Vikings! When asked about the win, head Viking Klepsvik said, “Let that be a warning to everyone. When Chan’s around… Keep your legs closed.”

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Three periods of regulation play couldn’t decide the Ducks/Puckhounds matchup in a critical playoff positioning game. The back and forth matchup was penalty marred and ugly with both keepers being the best penalty killer for their respective team.

The Puckhounds thought they were about to take the lead in the second period on a strong tick tack toe play from Dodd to McKelvey to Byrne when an errant defensemen’s skate blocked the open goal at the last second. Just when momentum looked to be on the Puckhounds side, Owe Mars took a hard turn and went down during a Ducks rush. The Ducks started a strong push attempting to grind down the three remaining defensemen. Puckhound goal tender Jackie stood up to the test and the game ended regulation at a 0-0 tie with the sold out crowd chanting JA-CKIE…JA-CKIE.

Overtime started with the back half of a Puckhound power play and 4 on 3 hockey. Duck goalie Shin was on his game holding the pressing Puckhounds out but the constant buzz in the zone created another Duck penalty. Puckhound captain Jason laid out the key strategy on the ensuing face off telling forward Brian Byrne to head to his office in front of the net. After a face off win and some strong movement around the zone a big rebound laid to the side of the net where Brian banged the puck home. Puckhounds taking down the Ducks 1-0 in an impressive overtime victory.

In Injury notes:

The local hospital diagnosed Owe’s injury as a fractured hip and a fatty liver.

在季后赛排位非常重要的对决中,Ducks 和 Puckhounds没法在常规时间里面分出高下。整场比赛被无休止的犯规破坏了球赛的节奏。双方门将俨如最佳的小罚杀手。

在第二节,Puckhounds在Dodd,McKelvey和Byrne纯熟的小组渗入下,差点取得入球。可惜被对方防守球员的冰刀无意识地挡出必进的空门。正当Puckhounds渐渐取得比赛的主导权时,防守球员Owe Mars在一次Ducks的冲击中不幸受伤。然后,Ducks吹起了全力反攻的集结号,务求把Puckhounds仅余的3位防守队员的体力消耗殆尽。最后,伟大的守门员Jackie挺身而出,屡救险球,直至常规时间结束0-0。场边满座的观众都高呼了守门员的名字”Ja-ckie…Ja-ckie”。

进入加时阶段,转接发生于Puckhounds在4打3的优势中。Ducks守门员稳健的表现,原来可以抵住Puckhounds进攻的压力。在源源不绝的施压下,Ducks再一次被判罚。在Puckhounds队长Jason在一次精心的部署下的争球,命令Brian Byrne必须潜在对方球门前。在赢得争球后,进攻区域里的人员涌动,突然一个反弹球出现在网侧,Brian没有浪费机会,一拍入网。最后,Puckhounds拿下Ducks,1-0 取得令人难忘的胜利。

伤病报告:

经过医院的详细检查,Owe 被诊断出髋骨有裂缝和有脂肪肝。

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Mans gets the shutout. Dogs thrash an undermanned dirty blues squad and pad some stats in a role reversal of classic blues fashion, 9-0.”

Efter ännu en enastående prestation av Bulldogs, där Måns ännu en gång håller nollan genom sitt briljanta målvaktsspel mellan stolparna. Gjorde det möjligt för de fruktade Dogs att hänsynslöst krossa ett underbemannat Dirty Blues i ett blodbad utan dess like. Vilket nu öppnar möjligheten för dem att avancera uppåt i ställningen och samtidigt trycka ner Blues till en tredje plats där dom hör hemma. Matchen slutade 9-0.

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Posted by aaron