Dearest SHC Veterans & Noobies… and especially Newbies,

NEW TO THE SHC? Then you need to come out for an Evaluation Skate before the September 3rd draft. The Evaluation Skate dates and times are as follows:

A Division Eval SkateMonday, August 29th at 8:15 at Feiyang Ice Rink
B Division Eval SkateTuesday, August 30th at 8:15 at Feiyang Ice Rink

New Guys – Free Ice. Returning players, regular Shinny Fees.

Rink Location:
201 Yunlian Lu
Near Qihe Lu
Metro – Line 7, exit at Yuntai Lu, 5 min walk

Note: If you can’t make the evaluation skate times for whatever reason, message us via the “contact us” form on the site and we can make alternate arrangements. Please share this info with any and all newbies!

See you then!

-SHC Exec Team

Posted by aaron in Announcement


Hey there, Puckheads!

Due to low attendance during the summer months we are suspending TUESDAY SHINNIES until further notice. In the interim, we will run Monday night’s 8:15 “fast n’ loose puck” and Thursday night’s 9:30 “filthy mongrel puck.”

Regardless of which ice you prefer (Mondays for the competitive asshats, Thursdays for people having a good time and learning some fundamentals) you must confirm your attendance with either of the following individuals via wechat:

If you’re interested in Monday ice, contact Hans Von Jovi (Wechat ID: hansvonmeister)

If you’re interested in Thursday ice, contact Kevin Marteeny Weeny (Wechat ID: kev_in_sha)

These gentlemen take care of the attendance numbers and keep our communications with the rink smooth. So please let either of them know directly if you wish to attend.

That’s all for now. Stay safe and keep your stick on the ice!

Posted by aaron in Announcement
SHC Exec Committee Elected – Immediately Regrets Life Decisions

SHC Exec Committee Elected – Immediately Regrets Life Decisions

Good news, puck heads! The votes are in and your new exec team has finally emerged from the dark crevices of Shanghai’s festering butthole. The sorry lot met up at The Camel Bar™ recently to discuss some ‘squad goals’ for next year. Though there were many high-priority items on the agenda, the majority of the time was spent arguing over what their respective nicknames were going to be. Just to keep you in the loop, and so that you can keep your kids 100 ft. away from these monsters at all times, here are some profiles for you to peruse:

Goalie Rep/Youth Wrestling Enthusiast: Barry “The Body” Roe – As we all know, getting a goalie on the exec committee was pretty important – more important than waiting for a criminal background check, apparently. If you ever need to find Barry, just go to your nearest dive bar and scan the shadows until you find a pair of beady eyes looking back at you from the darkness. Toss a piece of old durian at his feet and wait for him to eat it off the floor like an animal before approaching – dude’s a walking episode of the X-files.

Social/Events: Cole “Zangief” Paterson – A continual front-runner for the “Beer League Bruiser™” award, Coley bullied his way onto the exec committee by simply staring down the rest of the team until they gave him a spot at the table, and then their wallets. Though sometimes mistaken for a Sons of Anarchy cosplayer, don’t be fooled. Pitter-Paterson takes his caramel mocha lattes the same way he wears his jeans – skinny, effeminate, and stiffened with Cialis.

Resident Grouch: Kevin “Yes, that’s my real last name” Martini – Speaking of Cialis, this guy’s bloodstream is so saturated with male enhancement ‘medication’ that just being near him gets you off through osmosis – it’s like walking through a musty cloud of axe body spray that actually works. If you ever need to find him, you can always tell if he’s nearby by observing the male animal behaviour within a 3-mile radius. Conversely, you could just look for the nearest ginger.

Finance: James “T. Kirk/Jim/Bones” Scotti – It’s not normal that you get a guy in a leadership position that looks like the entire cast of the original Star Trek series rolled into one, but lo and behold, we got him. Charismatic, charming, and eager to use his physicality to deal with any situation, Scotti more or less showed up at the first meeting wearing nothing but his padded biking shorts and a Livestrong bracelet™. Yet, when he passionately took our finances into his burly arms, and boldly looked into the camera for his close-up, everyone swooned.

Referee Rep/Possible Highlander: Jean Pierre “It’s pronounced ‘Poo-TIN’, not ‘TEEN’” Grimard – The legend of J.P. is well known around the league. Nobody really knows how old he is, and some say that he’s been bouncing around beer leagues in major cities for the past 50 years in an attempt to conceal his immortal nature. His freakish athleticism is often said to be the result of the powers he gains whenever he cuts the head off of another beer league-lander. When asked about the recent disappearance of another suspected beer league-lander, Brian Wallace, he simply responded by saying “there can be only one” before shredding a mad-wicked air guitar solo.

Tech Guru/Human Air Horn/Marketing: Matt “I might not be attractive enough to steal your wife, but I sure can hack your wechat wallet!” Whately – Waitzy’s effort behind the scenes gives this league the thin veneer it needs in order to appear to be a reputable organization – much like his clothing provides him with the thin layer of camouflage he needs to blend into normal human civilization.

Communications: Shane “Just let me see it” Anderson – The last member on what reasonably ought to be a community watch-list, Anderson usually spends most of his time hanging out in the locker rooms, collecting ‘unpaid league fees’ from players’ wallets while they’re on the ice. He also takes it upon himself to collect ‘unclaimed’ rolls of shin pad tape, other team’s beers, and ‘expensive but lonely’ hockey sticks.

See you at the Draft Party!

Posted by aaron in Announcement, Article

SHC Golfin’ Derb

SHC’s Famous Summer Golf Tournament is Here!

This summer, June 18th, the SHC is having its annual golf tournament in Shanghai. If you like playing golf, drinking, and solid after-parties, then this is the event for you. We’re going to start at Camel for some breakfast, drinks, and maybe a couple of dirty stories from the vets, who knows. Then we roll out to the links for 18 holes of debauchery. After the tournament has ended, we head back to Camel for the after-party, where you can mock, praise, and talk to your fellow golfers.

Show up, hungry and thirsty at: The Camel
Time: 9:00am
Price: 1200 RMB

Be aware of the fact that this is an all day event, ending with an after-party at Camel.

Note: If you don’t have golf clubs, don’t worry, you can always rent them at the club.

Join the Official Group Chat Below:

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Posted by aaron in Announcement

Summer League Kicks Off

As you may have guessed from the general lack of updates after Finals Night, the SHC was busy getting just utterly toasted over the last few weeks. The Champion Ice Cocks (B Div) and Bulldogs (A Div) had especially long benders, and we still haven’t heard from Cocks Captain Barry Duke after he was last seen belting out ‘We Are The Champions’ on the roof of the Shanghai Tower. Not to be outdone, Bulldogs Captain Tyler Perro was at a loss when asked where the Shangley Cup was. Vegas odds currently place it at the bottom of the Huangpu River.

Despite all this, the SHC got its collective shit together and is kicking off Summer 2016 this weekend! May is summer, right? Sure. Why not.

This Summer will see 4 teams battle it out for the Shangley Chalice (Mini-Shangley was also in contention for the new Summer Trophy name). The long-standing Mixers are joined by the new franchises the Night Riders, Deadheads, and Bingqiu Bandits in a summer long battle to end the first week of September.

Ready for more? Grab a Tsingtao and get ready. Summer’s here, baby!

Posted by aaron in Announcement, Article